Lesson in Leadership from Albania
11/12/24Lesson in Leadership from Albania… with a Side of Honesty
This morning, I had breakfast with my new friend Davit from Albania. He’s three weeks into his first visit to the United States, and I was curious about his first impressions. When I asked him what stood out the most, he didn’t hesitate. “The people here are humble,” (Nice to know we’re keeping up appearances!) When I asked what surprised him, he was quick to say, “People here aren’t direct in their conversations.” He noticed people here often choose kindness over honesty when giving feedback. Wow! I wasn’t expecting that!
In Albania, Davit explained, people tell you exactly what’s on their minds. It’s the kind of “tell-it-like-it-is” feedback that might feel a little harsh, but, as Davit pointed out, “at least you know where you stand.”
Davit’s observations are right on point. I’ve found many leaders dissatisfied at times with team members’ performance, but they hold back or sugarcoat constructive feedback. If they do give it, it’s usually delayed, watered down, or wrapped in so much fluff that it loses impact.
Research shows that while many leaders dislike giving constructive feedback, most employees crave it. People want to know how they’re doing, what they can improve on, and how to meet expectations. Most of the time, they’re not looking for empty compliments; they want clarity and direction to do a good job.
In my experience, starting with a core belief that people want to succeed makes constructive feedback easier and more effective. When I focus on helping people improve (rather than assuming they’re just here to make my life hard) it becomes a shared mission.
Here are some tips that have helped me give feedback that lands:
>Start with the Heart: Approach feedback with the belief that people want to do a good job. When you believe in their potential, your feedback reflects that.
>Avoid the Workaround: It’s tempting to bypass giving feedback by just doing the job yourself. People can’t grow if they don’t get the chance to learn.
>Be Crystal Clear with Expectations: It’s not constructive to keep expectations vague and hope they "get it.” When people know exactly what’s expected, they’re more likely to succeed.
>Be Specific: Whether the feedback is good or needs improvement, be specific. Help people know exactly what to repeat or delete in their performance.
>Catch Them Doing It Right: Reinforcing positive behaviors soon after giving constructive feedback balances the message and encourages improvement.
>Make it a Habit: Feedback should be a regular part of your interactions with your team.
>Model What You Expect: Show the behavior you want to see. It’s much easier for people to follow when they can see the example in action.
The best feedback is a mix of kindness and honesty. Embrace honesty, let people know where they stand, and trust that they’ll appreciate the clarity and use it to improve.
(Thanks Davit!)
